Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
