your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
