apparently the secret to your success is patron
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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