Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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