My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
