super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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