i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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