Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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