The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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