Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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