Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
