She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
