i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
