i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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