no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
