She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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