is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize