dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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