Nicole vs. Life
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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