***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
