she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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