Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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