I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
