Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
