He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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