Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she peed on how many people?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
