You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
