I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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