Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
