He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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