Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
