yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
being pregnant is like rehab
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
