Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
