the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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