gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize