Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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