Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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