Nicole vs. Life
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
