Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize