He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
