Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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