im drinking this country out of the recession.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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