so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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