i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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