also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
