Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
