Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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