What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize