i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i've created a new STD.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
