We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
