# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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