I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
