Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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