hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
