I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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