well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
