He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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