there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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