i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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