the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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