a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
