Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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