Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
