You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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